‘Stupid Teenagers Must Die!’: Unfunny “Spoofs” of Slasher Movies Must Die!

It’s the 1980s, and a group of naughty teenagers are going to have a séance in ol’ Murder McGee’s house. There’s Final Girl Julie (Ashley Schneider), her boyfriend Kane the Token Black Guy (Jovan Meredith), gay couple Jamie (Christina DeRosa) and Sissy (Jamie Carson), Tough Guy Alfie (Devin Marble), Popular Girl Tiffany (Lindsay Gareth), Nerdy Guy Ryan (Will Deutsch), Weird Girl Madeline (Renee Dorian), and Geek 1 (Corey Assink) and Geek 2 (Jonathan Brett). The funlovin’ teens raise the spirit of McGee, as well as his entire murdered family, who get possession-happy. Their only defense is the Geeks’ homemade amulets. Can they stop being stupid and get out alive?

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He’s one of the better actors

Judging by the title, it sounds like a funny spoof. Wrong on both counts. While it uses some horror movie conventions (as the tagline states, “Excessive violence, gratuitous nudity, zero budget”) like the doomed teenagers, the haunted house, the victims being picked off one by one, and the archetypal characters, in many aspects I feel the filmmakers just get parodying ’80s slashers wrong. The inclusion of the gay couple puzzles me. I have no problem with them, it would have been amazing if such characters would have been possible in the ’80s and that they would have been so warmly accepted by their friends, but that’s not the case. Furthermore, they’re heavily exploited by having no motivation besides grabbing on each other and moaning.

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Aside from some of the costumes and music, the lack of cell phones, and a passing reference to the Atari, the movie doesn’t seem like the 1980s. Which would be forgivable if it were funny, but it’s just not. It might have been okay if it weren’t trying to be a parody—it could have just been another forgettable low-budget crapfest. Instead it’s a badly written, badly acted (the actors flub their lines regularly), wannabe spoof that feels like it was so awful the filmmakers tried to save face by throwing in the parody factor at the last minute.

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Hardcore horror fans, stay away because you’ll be offended by the ineptitude. Fledgling horror fans, beware as well; horror movies aren’t all like this. It’s not campy, or so bad that it’s funny. It’s just bad. Check it out if you’re in the mood to be frustrated.

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Aw, I’m so mean–they look like they’re having a good time

Published by GhoulieJoe

I'm a mom who loves horror movies, the '80s, and the library. I write about the above three topics more than is healthy. I've got reviews, listicles, lil nonfiction pieces, and random bits of whutnot. I also included some pretentious as hell microfiction (don't worry, it's at the bottom). Because horror is life and vice versa.

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