Author Archives: GhoulieJoe

Time Test: ‘John Carpenter’s Body Bags’

I’m not big on re-watching movies, but every once in a while I recall something I watched a long time ago and wonder what I would think of it today. I first saw Body Bags yikes, 31 years ago, on Halloween night. I was twelve, and I stayed home to hand out candy while myContinue reading “Time Test: ‘John Carpenter’s Body Bags’”

‘Him’: Hot Damn! (Review)

Cam (Tyriq Withers) is a promising young football phenom who lives for the game. He’s been training practically all his life, and his hard work is rewarded by a chance to practice with the legendary Isaiah (Marlon Wayans). Cam heads out to Isaiah’s compound ostensibly for a week of conditioning, but in actuality he’s aboutContinue reading “‘Him’: Hot Damn! (Review)”

The Horrors of Adulting: Irony is Bad for My Blood

I’ve recently become enamored of an indie publishing company called Cursed Morsels Press, and a couple weeks ago I was reading an anthology of sports-themed body horror stories. Naturally, I had to share my observations with my friend Brianna. I wrote, “The stories are well-written, but there are just way more suppurating wounds than IContinue reading “The Horrors of Adulting: Irony is Bad for My Blood”

The Horrors of Adulting: Working with the Public

My eldest child just turned sixteen and is thinking about looking for work, so I was briefing her on my Golden Rule of Customer Service™: “Even if someone’s screaming at you, you don’t come up here [gestures palm-down to eye level], you want them down here with you [gestures palm-down to chest height].” She gaveContinue reading “The Horrors of Adulting: Working with the Public”

‘The Unborn’ (2009) in About 30 Seconds

My review of The Unborn is one of my most viewed posts, probably I called it ‘The Unborn’: Panties, Glorious Panties! So I made a reel. My oldest kid directed and my middle stood in for the creepy ghost. They crushed it. My son being menacing: His Will Byers from Stranger Things impression:

Time Test: ‘Cloverfield’

Every so often I think of a movie I saw once, years ago, and I wonder if my perception of it would change over time. Because I’ve grown as a person and all. I’m ever so evolved and mature, you see. I saw Cloverfield in the theatre in 2008 and haven’t seen it since, andContinue reading “Time Test: ‘Cloverfield’”

The Horrors of Adulting: Being a Parent

My sister Leslie and her boyfriend Kevin have been together for 25 years; they’re one of the strongest, happiest couples I know. And they don’t have kids. They don’t want kids. They in fact have a running list of reasons why they don’t want and have kids. I myself have three children. I love them,Continue reading “The Horrors of Adulting: Being a Parent”