Ever seen the American Film Institute’s list of movie quotes? Let me sum up: of the hundred, about 25 are Casablanca and Gone with the Wind. Most of the rest are from the other golden oldies that are revered by the writers of film studies textbooks; they may be well-made, but they’re also very much a reminder of how discriminatory Hollywood was in terms of race, gender, and sexual orientation. Though I give big ups for including Jaws, Psycho, and The Sixth Sense, the AFI’s selections just don’t speak to me, and if you’re on this site, perhaps they don’t speak to you, either. Though many of the movies I quote from aren’t horror, they are all delightful (the quotes, not necessarily the movies). After trying and failing to narrow down my own list to a slim ten squared, here is part nineteen. In no particular order (except the chronological order in which I wrote about these films in my movie journal).
25.) Darling (Lauren Ashley Carter): “I think I’ll become one of your ghost stories now.” (Darling, 2015)
24.) Father McFerrin (Robert Quarry), trying to fight off zombies and brandishing a cross: “May the Lord our savior turn you from your wicked ways. [Pause] You’re not turning. Look fellas, what we’ve got here is a failure to communicate. I mean, we all live in the same neighborhood, right? Is it anybody’s birthday today? Did anybody go to Notre Dame?” [By the end of the movie they’re pals and he’s singing them to sleep] (Teenage Exorcist, 1991)
23.) Paulie (Piper Perabo), fighting internalized and externalized homophobia regarding her romantic friendship: “I’m Paulie, in love with Tori […] She is mine and I am hers and neither of us are lesbians.” (Lost and Delirious, 2001)
22.) Young-goon (Lim Soo-jung), who talks to inanimate objects, to a fellow psychiatric patient: “Lights here aren’t very friendly, are they?” (I’m a Cyborg, But That’s Okay)
21.) Tree (Jessica Rothe), referring to a repetitive moment from the first film: “What the hell are you always looking for under that desk?” (Happy Death Day 2U)
20.) Collin (Daveed Diggs), venting about narrow-minded viewpoints to a racist police officer: “I am both pictures! See both pictures!” (Blindspotting, 2018)
19.) [Vin (Bill Murray) has had a stroke, and his neighbor Maggie (Melissa McCarthy) is working on his speech with him by using flash cards] Vin: “Money.” Maggie: “No, it’s a…it’s a tree.” Vin: “You owe me money. Yeah, you broke my tree.” Maggie: “All right.” [The next card is a picture of a fence] Vin: “Yeah, you broke my fence, too.” Maggie: “Okay, what are you…planting these?” (St. Vincent, 2014)
18.) Nina (Natalie Portman), a sheltered and childlike ballerina, excited about being chosen to dance the lead: “He picked me, Mommy!” (Black Swan, 2010)
17.) Michael (Ryan Reynolds): “My job is to keep you out of harm’s way.” Darius (Samuel L. Jackson): “Shit, motherfucker. I am harm’s way.” (The Hitman’s Bodyguard, 2017)
16.) Elinor (Emma Thompson): “Merida, a princess does not place her weapons on the table.” (Brave, 2012)
15.) Andy Barclay (Alex Vincent, returning to the franchise after 23 years), preparing to shoot Chucky: “Play with this.” (Curse of Chucky, 2013)
14.) Irena (Simone Simon): “I like the dark. It’s friendly.” (Cat People, 1942)
13.) [Babe (Dustin Hoffman) is holding captive a Nazi war criminal (Laurence Olivier) who has also both killed his brother and tortured him with a drill] Szell: “What are you going to do now, shoot me?” Babe: “No, I don’t think so.” Szell: “Then you’re going to take these [diamonds he stole during the Holocaust]? If I could say a word about that…” Babe: “No, you can keep them. You can keep as many as you can swallow.”(Marathon Man, 1976)
12.) After a long battle with trying to pronounce the line “Would that it were so simple” in an elegant accent, Hobie (Alden Ehrenreich) gives up: [In his natural drawl] “It’s complicated.” (Hail, Caesar!, 2016)
11.) [It’s the ’50s, and a Black family has just moved to an upper class white neighborhood] Beneatha (Sanaa Lathan), gleefully waving: “Howdy do, neighbors!” (A Raisin in the Sun, 2008)
10.) Anger, who’s a sentient portion of a preteen’s head (Lewis Black): “We should lock the door and scream that curse word we know. It’s a good one!” (Inside Out, 2015)
9.) William Burke (Colman Domingo), regarding white folks’ possessiveness of Black artistry: “They love what we make, but not us.” (Candyman, 2021)
8.) Sara (Ellen Burstyn), to her son, about appearing on a game show: “I’m somebody now, Harry. Everybody likes me. Soon, millions of people will see me and they’ll all like me. I’ll tell them about you, and your father, how good he was to us. Remember? It’s a reason to get up in the morning. It’s a reason to lose weight, to fit in the red dress. It’s a reason to smile. It makes tomorrow all right.” (Requiem for a Dream, 2000)
7.)[It’s the ’80s, and Robbie is serenading his engaged crush on a plane, assisted by the flight attendants and Billy Idol, who keep her angry fiancé at bay] Billy Idol: “How you doing, sir? Chicken or fish?” Glenn (Matthew Glave): “You better get out of my way, Billy. You’re gonna get hurt.” Billy Idol: “Oh yeah?” Large Billy Idol Fan (Al Burke): “Don’t you talk to Billy Idol that way!” (The Wedding Singer, 1998)
6.) Randall: “Well, that’s the story. So if your air conditioner goes on the fritz or your washing machine blows up or your video recorder conks out; before you call the repairman, turn on all the lights, check all the closets and cupboards, look under all the beds, cause you never can tell–there just might be a gremlin in your house.” (Gremlins, 1984) [I watched this movie as a young kid, and was fine until these last lines, which scared the crap out of me. My mom asked me to plug in the blow dryer shortly afterwards, and I absolutely refused.]
5.) Milo (Bill Hader), discussing the possibility of his sister and brother-in-law Lance (Luke Wilson) having kids: “I can’t wait to be the creepy gay uncle.” Lance, cheerfully oblivious to his tone: “You’re hired!” (The Skeleton Twins, 2014)
4.) Roebuck (Jeffrey Wright), regarding being gay in a bygone era: “You see, people may or may not be mildly threatened by your anger, your hatred, your pride. But, love the wrong way and you will find yourself in great jeopardy.” (The French Dispatch, 2021)
3.) Violet (Sanaa Lathan), to her mother Pauletta (Lynn Whitfield): “When I was ten, we went to some company picnic for Dad at some…park…and I jumped into the pool. Do you remember that?” Pauletta: “Oh Lord…” Violet: “My hair turned into a little fist, and all the kids were laughing at me. You yanked me out of the pool, shoved me into the car, and we left.” Pauletta: “And?” Violet: “I wonder who I would be if you had just hugged me and told me I was still beautiful. ” (Nappily Ever After, 2018)
2.) Pizza Delivery Guy (Stephen King): “Hey, this is some place, huh? Is it haunted?” Emery (Matt Ross): “Yeah, by ghosts of delivery men who asked too many stupid questions and never escaped.” (Rose Red, 2002)
1.) [Hal (Eddie Marsan), a rich middle-aged white dude, is aghast that Kayla (Iola Evans), a broke Black Gen Z-er, is the protagonist of the supernatural video game they’re playing] “Aren’t guys like me allowed to be the hero anymore? In the ’80s–” Kayla: “Fuck the ’80s!” (Choose or Die, 2022)
Author’s note: I have extensively relied on IMDb for help, both with dates and with some of the quotes.
GhoulieJoe 