Today I was driving to work on a little country road that leads to the freeway, and from a distance I saw a flock of sizable birds just chilling in the street. The car coming from the opposite direction honked, and they grudgingly shuffled out of the way.
I think all of my knowledge of vultures comes from The Jungle Book adaptation by Disney, but they really do move like this:
I dismissed it at the time, but later on my break I googled whether Kentucky has vultures. Okay ya’ll, we got vultures, and they are sick fucks, picking on baby animals and eating their eyes. To quote our local newspaper, the Courier Journal:
“[Herdsman Derek] Lawson said he’s noticed more vultures since 2009, when he thinks they started nesting near Foxhollow Farm. He plans his year around the predatory habits of the vultures, which circle the skies in wait of anything dead or vulnerable.
He remembers one eerie morning when he saw a flock of 60 vultures perched on adjacent gates in one of his fields. He mainly worries about them during calving season, when they like to feast on easy marks.”
Not only are they sadistic and numerous, they’re bloody smart:
“But lately, farmers say they have seen black and turkey vultures work together in uncharacteristic attacks on live animals. Turkey vultures hunt by smell and black vultures hunt by eyesight, making them an effective team. The black vultures can spot the turkey vultures circling above prey and can join them.”
Oh and by the way, it’s illegal to kill them.
Sooooo if my articles should suddenly drop off, definitely assume the vultures got me.
*Feature image belongs to Reisegraf, Getty Images/iStockphoto
GhoulieJoe 