[A group of five friends have established a ritual of holding funerals for each other while they’re still alive to witness them] ‘I was eighteen,’ Marielle corrected, and Jordan gritted his teeth. There was a reason funeral honorees were supposed to be dead.
‘She entered our lives before we were twenty, when the whole world felt exciting and fresh and possible. The first thing you need to know, Marielle, is that we have loved you since the moment we met.’
Marielle’s face scrunched with extreme displeasure.
‘What now?’ Jordan asked when her look could no longer be ignored.
Marielle shifted in her seat. ‘You have loved me?’
‘That’s right. Since the first night we met.’
‘Have loved.’
Jordan looked to the others for backup. Did they know what she was after?
Marielle scoffed. ‘What the hell tense is that?’
‘Tense?’
‘Verb tense. I’ve run that sentence back and forth in my head and I don’t get it. You have, present, loved, past, me, noun.’ Marielle shook her head, as if realizing for the first time that a funeral for a living person was ridiculous, just as the rest of them were finding meaning.
Jordan hung his head in defeat. ‘I’m sorry! You’re sitting right there!’
‘So?’
‘Do you know how hard it is to give a eulogy for a person making faces in response to everything you say?’
Marielle didn’t know and doubted anyone did. ‘What did you expect? I’m an open book.’
Craig leaned in and whispered, ‘How about you be less of an open book and more of an open casket.’ “
–Steven Rowley, The Celebrants.
GhoulieJoe 