Ever seen the American Film Institute’s list of movie quotes? Let me sum up: of the hundred, about 25 are Casablanca and Gone with the Wind. Most of the rest are from the other golden oldies that are revered by the writers of film studies textbooks; they may be well-made, but they’re also very much a reminder of how discriminatory Hollywood was in terms of race, gender, and sexual orientation. Though I give big ups for including Jaws, Psycho, and The Sixth Sense, the AFI’s selections just don’t speak to me, and if you’re on this site, perhaps they don’t speak to you, either. Though many of the movies I quote from aren’t horror, they are all delightful (the quotes, not necessarily the movies). After trying and failing to narrow down my own list to a slim ten squared, here is part twenty-three. (And no, I had no idea how many of these I would write when I started in with the Roman numerals–I keep watching movies!) In no particular order:
25. Nada (Roddy Piper): “I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I’m all out of bubble gum.” (They Live, 1988)
24. Kim (Anna Lore): “Look at you. You’re so chill. Try that haircut in my school. No one would talk to you.” Veronica (Monique Kim): “I’d talk to me.” (They/Them, 2022)
23. Barbie (Margot Robbie), who has ventured out into the real world for the first time: “Why are these men looking at me?” Ken (Ryan Gosling): “Yeah, they’re also staring at me.” Barbie: “I feel kind of ill at ease, like…I don’t know the word for it, but I’m…conscious, but it’s myself that I’m conscious of.” Ken: “I’m not getting any of that. I feel what could only be described as admired.” Man: “Damn, girl!” Ken: “But not ogled. And there’s no undertone of violence.” Barbie: “Mine very much has an undertone of violence.” (Barbie, 2023)
22. Junebug (Trayce Malachi): “No, no, no. Squidward just be killing the plot. I can’t believe you don’t watch SpongeBob. Why not? Huh, Fontaine? Why don’t you watch SpongeBob?” Fontaine (John Boyega): “Cause I don’t, all right? Damn. Shut your ass up.” Junebug: “You’re a real Squidward.” Fontaine: “I’m not Squidward.” Junebug: “So you do watch it.” (They Cloned Tyrone, 2023)
21. [A group of diners in a super-fancy restaurant try to console the melancholy chef, Katherine (Christina Brucato)] Lillian (Janet McTeer): “Mmm. This is fantastic. The tartness of the umeboshi and the waves of ferment. It’s rich, and yet it’s clean. It’s delicious.” Katherine: “Yes, well, there was a time that would have meant a lot to me, Ms. Bloom.” [Sniffles, begins crying] Margot (Anya Taylor-Joy): “Mmm.” Felicity (Aimee Carrero): “It’s so good.” Anne (Judith Light): “Yes, it’s really good.” Margot: “Mmm-hmm.” Felicity: “You know, it’s the emoji for me.” Lillian: “Umeboshi.” Felicity: “Hmm?” Lillian: “Umeboshi.” Felicity: “Umeboshi.” Lillian: “This is so good.” Felicity: “You’re very talented.” Katherine: “Thank you.” Anne: “Usually don’t like foam, but…” (The Menu, 2021)
20. Nancy (Nicole Kidman) is pondering the handbook from the gay conversion program she’s forced her son into, noticing it’s riddled with typos: “We always come back to Dog’s true design. [Ruefully, to herself] Almighty Dog.” (Boy Erased, 2018)
19. Jimmy (Will Weldon): “Oh my God. You are a monster.” Bob (Ron Lynch): “I was going to tell you.” Jimmy: “About this?” Bob: “Well, yeah, we’re gonna be working closely together for several months, so I think you should know.” Jimmy: “That you eat people.” Bob: “Jimmy, both you and I know that comedians aren’t really people.” (Too Late, 2021)
18. [A group of Norwegians are playing Twister] Roy (Stig Frode Henriksen): “Why do we play this game?” Erlend (Jeppe Beck Laursen): “Because Hollywood told us it’s so much fun.” (Dead Snow, 2009)
17. Alice (Anna Kendrick), to her friend Tess: “I like you reading me to sleep.” (Alice, Darling, 2022)
16. Sukie (Beanie Feldstein), angrily watching her promiscuous girlfriend demonstrating where a lime wedge is going for a body shot contest: “Pull that out! That is not a public receptacle!” (Drive-Away Dolls, 2024)
15. Head Hospital Admin (John Shepard): “Let’s not hit the panic button yet, Ms. Henry. I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical explanation for all of this.” Cynthia (Mo’Nique): “I just saw a little boy break his restraints, crawl out of that bed, crawl backwards on the floor, and climb up the fucking wall. What button should I push, Doctor?” (The Deliverance, 2024)
14. Liz (Emma Stone): “Dad, last night I had a dream. I was lying on that beach where they found me. I don’t remember what I was wearing, but it was like I had been there for years. And you were there. Daniel was there. We all were. Funny thing is, life in that place wasn’t like it is here. It took me a few days to realize, but that place went by different rules. There, dogs were in charge. People were animals and animals were people. I must admit, Dad, the dogs treated us pretty well. They gave us food, and they bandaged our wounds after licking them, and they never bit us, even when we tried to hurt them. And every morning they gave us chocolate to eat. Because dogs mustn’t eat chocolate, you know. Lamb, which is my favorite food, was a rare treat, and the dogs mostly kept that for themselves. For the first few days, I refused to eat and I waited for leftover lamb chop, but someone else always got to it first, so eventually I just ate the chocolate because there was lots of it around. And I didn’t like it much, but it was better than going hungry, and so from then on, I ate chocolate every day. And here’s the conclusion I came to: it’s better to eat something that’s always available when you’re hungry than to depend on something that runs out early every morning. And I mean every morning. Daniel isn’t perfect, but he’s always been there for me.” (Kinds of Kindness, 2024)
13. [Jonas (Adam Lundgren) has sustained a grievous head wound, and Anette (Cecilia Nilsson) is fixing to sew it shut] Annette: “There, there. Yuck. Yuck, that’s gross. Are you ready?” Jonas: “Yeah…” Anette: “This will sting a little.” Jonas (Adam Lundgren): “Mother…fucking…bitch!” Anette: “Quiet, or I won’t stitch you up.” (Konferensen, AKA The Conference, 2023)
12. Lee (Maika Monroe), an FBI agent, explaining to her mother Ruth (Alicia Witt) that she’ll be too busy with work to visit: Ruth: “Be careful they don’t work you too hard, all right?” Lee: “Yeah, but it’s good. It’s really good. They put me on something important.” Ruth: “Yeah? What is it?” Lee: “Well, I can’t tell you. You wouldn’t want to hear about it anyways.” Ruth: “Not nice things.” Lee: “I don’t think the Bureau has a division for nice things.” (Longlegs, 2024)
11. Sarah (Kiana Madeira): “I don’t fear the devil. Hannah, I fear the neighbor who would accuse me. I fear the mother that would let her daughter hang. I fear Union. They lead us like lambs to the slaughter and expect us to just follow. Well, they will see. I am no lamb.” (Fear Street: Part III–1666, 2021)
10. [Charly (Geena Davis), a CIA agent, has suffered grave injuries and collapsed on the ground right next to a bomb. Her daughter Caitlin (Yvonne Zima) is trying to rouse her] “Would you stop it? Stop being a little baby. Get up now. You’re not dead. Don’t you die. You get up now. Life is pain. You just get used to it! So stand up right this minute, Mommy.” (The Long Kiss Goodnight, 1996)
9. [Bill (Bokeem Woodbine) has inelegantly tried to woo a woman, and she pulled a gun on him.] Jim (Nate Parker): “That didn’t go exactly as I thought it would. Personally, I was hoping for a slap, but the gun to the face [laughs] was a nice touch. Guess I can settle for that.” Bill: “You know what, Jim? I think I’ll kill you first.” (They Die By Dawn, 2013)
8. Ella (Aisling Franciosi), having an imagined conversation with her comatose mother, Suzanne: “I’m the one living my life. It’s my turn.” Suzanne (Stella Gonet): [Laughs] “You can’t control anything. You’re a puppet caught in your own strings. And if it isn’t me pulling them, it’s somebody else. But when the puppets are done with their play, they’re put back in the box.” (Stopmotion, 2023)
7. Khadijah (Lupita Nyong’o): “The package is in an office two halls away.” Marie (Diane Kruger): “Security?” Khadijah: “The buyer has a team. The seller has an army.” Marie: “What do we have? Please don’t say each other.” [Khadijah displays two spray bottles] “Acetone. Hydrogen peroxide. Your file says demolitions. Can you make this work?” (The 355, 2022)
6. Gus (Rhys Auteri): “You’re meddling with things you don’t understand.” Jack (David Dastmalchian): “Okay. If we manage to conjure Satan, I give you express permission to go right for that exit. Okay? If Earth swallows us whole, I apologize in advance.” (Late Night with the Devil, 2023)
5. Michael (Kenneth Nelson): “If there’s one thing I’m not ready for, it’s five screaming queens singing ‘Happy Birthday.'” Donald (Frederick Combs): “Who’s coming?” Michael: “Well, they’re really all Harold’s friends. It’s his birthday, and I want everything to be just the way he’d want it. I don’t wanna have to listen to him kvetch about how nobody ever does anything for anybody but themselves.” Donald: “Himself.” Michael: “Himself. I think you know everybody, anyway. It’s the same old tired fairies you’ve seen around since the day one. Actually there’ll be seven, counting Harold and you and me.” Donald: “Are you calling me a screaming queen or a tired fairy?” Michael: “I beg your pardon. There’ll be six tired, screaming fairy queens and one anxious queer.” (The Boys in the Band, 1970)
4. Guy (Johnny Depp) is helping a missing guy’s friends track him down, and is proffering weaponry: “These are guns.” Teddy (Haley Joel Osment): “I don’t want one.” Guy: “You don’t want a gun?” Teddy: “You take em.” Guy: “What? What kind of American are you?” (Tusk, 2014)
3. Killer Joe (Matthew McConaughey): “If you insult me again, I will cut your face off and wear it over my own.” (Killer Joe, 2011)
2. Roger (David Alan Grier): “Aren, what’s the most dangerous animal on the planet?” Aren: (Justice Smith): “Sharks.” Roger: “White people. When are white people most dangerous?” Aren: “When they’re teamed up with sharks.” Roger: “When they feel uncomfortable.” Aren: “Okay, were sharks a part of it, or…” Roger: “White people feeling uncomfortable precedes a lot of bad stuff for us. White people move into a neighborhood, they feel uncomfortable: gentrification.” Aren: “Okay.” Roger: “White cop sees a Black man, feels uncomfortable: another shooting. Was a time when all you had to do was look at a white man and make him uncomfortable. That was pretty much it for you.” Aren: “Yeah, I get that. I’m just not the…” Roger: “For some of us, the last thing we see in this world is an uncomfortable white man. But I don’t blame white people for that. I blame their discomfort. That’s why we here at the American Society of Magical Negroes fight white discomfort every damn day. We are the vanguard of white relaxation. Black knights making sure that they don’t take it out on a Brother. Because the happier they are, the safer we are.” (The American Society of Magical Negroes, 2024)
1. Piper (Nicole Beharie): “Didn’t catch my meaning? It’s funny, that to catch a meaning…catch a meaning, it’s like a knife, or a hot potato, like little bits of colored glass broken and scattered, all ready to be put back together.” (Apartment 4E, 2012)
Author’s note: I have extensively relied on IMDb for help, both with dates and with some of the quotes.
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