College student Amy (Jena Malone), her boyfriend Jeff (Jonathan Tucker), Eric (Shawn Ashmore), and his girlfriend Stacy (Laura Ramsey) are on vacation in Mexico when they meet friendly Mathias (Joe Anderson), who invites them to join him on a trip to a Mayan temple that his brother is exploring. Once there, they discover the MayanContinue reading “The Ruins: Give Plants a Chance!”
Author Archives: GhoulieJoe
Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Rope’: Murder! Wit! More Gay Coloring Than You Can Shake a Stick at!
Brandon (John Dall) and Phillip (Farley Granger) kill their acquaintance David (Dick Hogan) because they want to test their theory that “Moral concepts of right and wrong don’t hold for the intellectually superior.” Phillip immediately regrets it, while Brandon is “tremendously exhilarated” (that’s ‘40s talk for orgasmic). They then proceed to throw the body inContinue reading “Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Rope’: Murder! Wit! More Gay Coloring Than You Can Shake a Stick at!”
‘The Rite’: Heavy-handed, but Delivered in a Creepy and Thoughtful Wrapping
Michael (Colin O’Donoghue) is a seminary student who is starting to wonder if he really wants to be a priest. Since the Church recently decided it wants an exorcist for every diocese, Michael is sent to exorcism school in Rome. He meets reporter Angelina (Alice Braga) and Father Lucas (Anthony Hopkins), a funny old guyContinue reading “‘The Rite’: Heavy-handed, but Delivered in a Creepy and Thoughtful Wrapping”
Hideo Nakata’s ‘Ringu’: Ya See, Kids, the ’90s were a Simpler Time…
The Japanese movie that was remade in America as The Ring. Asakawa (Nanako Matsushima) is a reporter investigating mysterious deaths (including that of her niece Tomoko), all occurring one week after the victims watched a strange videotape. Asakawa locates the actual tape and watches it. With seven days to live, in desperation she shows itContinue reading “Hideo Nakata’s ‘Ringu’: Ya See, Kids, the ’90s were a Simpler Time…”
‘Return to Oz’: Wholesome Family Watching! (That’s Sarcasm)
It’s six months after Dorothy (Fairuza Balk) returned from Oz (actually forty-six years in real life). Dorothy can’t shut up about her wonderful adventures in Oz, which earns her a trip to the local sanitarium for shock treatment. After escaping, Dorothy wakes up back in Oz, this time with her chicken Billina (voiced by DeniseContinue reading “‘Return to Oz’: Wholesome Family Watching! (That’s Sarcasm)”
‘Repossessed’: You Gotta, at Least Once
It’s an early ‘90s spoof of The Exorcist. Nancy (Linda Blair) is a housewife who was once possessed as a young girl, and who becomes, as the title suggests, repossessed. Leslie Nielsen is Father Mayii, the priest who comes to her aid. Things are complicated when Ernest (Ned Beatty) and Fanny Ray Weller (Lana Schwab),Continue reading “‘Repossessed’: You Gotta, at Least Once”
‘Repo! The Genetic Opera’: Dark, Witty, Campy–with Awesome Songs!
It’s the not-too-distant future, and an epidemic of organ failures gives rise to Geneco, an organ financing conglomerate that helps people “cheat death for now.” Surgery becomes a fashion statement, and organ repossession is legal. Since everyone is now in debt, the Repo Man (Anthony Head) makes a brisk business. But he also has aContinue reading “‘Repo! The Genetic Opera’: Dark, Witty, Campy–with Awesome Songs!”
‘The Rage: Carrie 2’–Call Me Nostalgic, but it’s an Ambitious and Well-Made Sequel
Twenty-three years after the original comes a sequel, continuing in the same town. Seems Carrie’s father had a child with another woman, who, go figure, is also a religious zealot. Being raised in one uncaring foster home after another does little to improve young Rachel’s (Emily Bergl) morale, and she becomes a surly sixteen-year-old goth.Continue reading “‘The Rage: Carrie 2’–Call Me Nostalgic, but it’s an Ambitious and Well-Made Sequel”
‘Quarantine’: Somebody Call a Wah-mbulance
Remake of Jaume Balagueró’s Rec, directed by John Erick Dowdle. Reporter Angela (Jennifer Carpenter) and her cameraman Scott (Steve Harris) are doing a piece on firefighters. They ride along with firemen Fletcher (Johnathon Schaech) and Jake (Jay Hernandez) on a call to an apartment building where one of the residents has been heard screaming. TurnsContinue reading “‘Quarantine’: Somebody Call a Wah-mbulance”
‘Psycho Beach Party’ is a Wacky Comedic Romp
Florence (Lauren Ambrose) is a teenage girl who wants to be a surfer. Despite protests from the all-male surfers, big kahuna the Great Kanaka (Thomas Gibson) teaches her. Things become complicated when Florence discovers she has two split personalities; soon her friends and acquaintances start dying off. Is it Florence’s sinister side? Her suspicious motherContinue reading “‘Psycho Beach Party’ is a Wacky Comedic Romp”
