GhoulieJoe

1989’s ‘Far from Home’ is Cheesy and Predictable, but I Kinda Like it

Joleen (Drew Barrymore) is a fourteen-year-old on a road trip with her father Charlie (Matt Frewer). They run out of gas in a small town in Nevada, where fuel is hard to come by. So they temporarily set up shop in a trailer park. Joleen, eager to meet boys, runs across Jimmy (Andras Jones), theContinue reading “1989’s ‘Far from Home’ is Cheesy and Predictable, but I Kinda Like it”

‘The Exorcist III: Legion’–Not as Scary as ‘The Exorcist’ But Creepy, and At Least There’s No Pea Soup-Spewing

Ignoring the second movie, The Exorcist III picks up roughly 15 years after the original left off, with Lieutenant Kinderman (George C. Scott) investigating a series of murders that appear to be the work of the Gemini Killer (Brad Dourif), who’s supposed to be dead. Meanwhile, Kinderman encounters Patient X (Jason Miller), a mental patientContinue reading “‘The Exorcist III: Legion’–Not as Scary as ‘The Exorcist’ But Creepy, and At Least There’s No Pea Soup-Spewing”

‘Evilspeak’ is Big Time Dated, but Still Way Flash

Private Coopersmith (Clint Howard) is a recently orphaned teenager in military school. His poor soccer skills and habit of crying frequently make him unpopular, and he’s often tortured by four really mean guys. On a cleaning detail in the school’s chapel cellar, he discovers a boatload of Satanist paraphernalia. With a combination of black magicContinue reading “‘Evilspeak’ is Big Time Dated, but Still Way Flash”

‘Eve’s Bayou’: Surrender to the Splenderousness!!!

Eve (Jurnee Smollett) is a ten-year-old girl in the not-quite-specified-when past. Her close-knit family includes her edgy mother Roz (Lynn Whitfield), philandering father Louis (Samuel L. Jackson), younger brother Poe (Jake Smollett), teenage sister Cisely (Meagan Good), and aunt Mozelle (Debbi Morgan), a psychic counselor. When Cisely tells Eve that Louis molested her, Eve vowsContinue reading “‘Eve’s Bayou’: Surrender to the Splenderousness!!!”

‘Elvira’s Haunted Hills’: Elvira is Always Entertaining

The continued adventures of Elvira, Mistress of the Night (Cassandra Peterson stars and co-wrote). Elvira and her friend Zou Zou (Mary Jo Smith) are off to perform in a cabaret show in 1851 Paris when their carriage breaks down in Carpathia. They find shelter at the castle of Lord Hellsubus (Richard O’Brien). Between the castle’sContinue reading “‘Elvira’s Haunted Hills’: Elvira is Always Entertaining”

‘Ed and His Dead Mother’ is Delightfully Demented

Ed (Steve Buscemi) is on trial for cutting off his mother’s head; however, as he explains, she was already dead. Going back a bit, Ed, still bereft about his mother Mabel’s (Miriam Margoyles) death, is approached by the Happy People Corporation; Mr. Pattle (John Glover) offers him “a simple reanimation” for a thousand dollars. Unfortunately,Continue reading “‘Ed and His Dead Mother’ is Delightfully Demented”

Tobe Hooper’s ‘Eaten Alive’ is Not Just Any Old Slasher

Judd (Neville Brand) is a cranky loner operating a rundown bayou hotel. He also kills people and feeds them to his pet crocodile. He has his hands full when a dysfunctional family of three as well as the sister and father of one of his victims rent rooms. Then there’s Buck (Robert Englund), a stubbornContinue reading “Tobe Hooper’s ‘Eaten Alive’ is Not Just Any Old Slasher”

‘Dreamcatcher’: makes puking noises

Four friends from childhood: Henry, a suicidal psychiatrist (Thomas Jane), Jonesy, a psychic teacher (Damian Lewis), Pete, a car salesman good at finding lost stuff (Timothy Olyphant), and not-much-going-for-him Beaver (Jason Lee) return to their cabin in the woods for their annual hunting trip. Unfortunately, they’re accosted by a variety of aliens, from the culturedContinue reading “‘Dreamcatcher’: *makes puking noises*”

‘Drag Me to Hell’ is Occasionally Eerie, but Mostly Pretty Silly

Christine (Alison Lohman) is a loan officer trying to move up in the world. She’s neck-and-neck for a promotion with her coworker Stu (Reggie Lee), who fights dirty. So when Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver) comes asking for an extension on her house payment, Christine turns her away. Unfortunately, the woman places a Romani curse onContinue reading “‘Drag Me to Hell’ is Occasionally Eerie, but Mostly Pretty Silly”

‘Dark House’ (2009) is Repulsive, and Not in a Good Way

Claire (Meghan Ory) is a college student with a dark past: when she was a young child, she witnessed local kid-hoarder Mrs. Darrode (Diane Salinger) kill her seven foster children. As an adult, Claire has to take medication; unfortunately, this cuts her off from her emotions, which disrupts her chosen profession of acting. Her therapistContinue reading “‘Dark House’ (2009) is Repulsive, and Not in a Good Way”