Mother (Amy Adams) is a stay-at-home mom who used to be a cutting-edge artist. Her clueless husband, Husband (Scoot McNairy) is sort of helpful around the house, but is often on business trips, so Mother is alone with their two-year-old, Son (Arleigh Snowden/Emmett Snowden). Mother is abashed that she spends her days cleaning up poo and not making art, but things start looking up when she finds herself becoming a were-dog.
One of the more striking things about the film, that shouldn’t be, is how incredibly brave Adams is to not have a movie star body (though thankfully things are finally starting to happen regarding body love for ladies in Hollywood bigger than a size 0) and not have a face plastered with makeup. Her performance is stunning in its vulnerability and honesty.
Who’s a good girl? You are!
However, Mother verges on unlikable for me at times, like in the scene where she feels disconnected from the artist friends she went out to dinner with, so she barks at them and snatches a stranger’s hamburger. She tends to be mean to her husband. He’s trying his best, he really is, but he can be needy while parenting, when Mother really needs a break.
She REALLY needs a break, for the luvva God, give her a break!
The film elegantly demonstrates that “Motherhood is fucking brutal.” Motherhood is fucking repetitive as well, as epitomized in a scene close to the beginning, a montage of endless days of Mother making breakfast and entertaining Son throughout the day. Motherhood can be soulsucking and thankless and, as Mother points out, your kid might pee in your face without blinking.
The movie emphasizes the loss of identity women go through when having a kid, which men are usually immune to–women are expected to do it all, while men are expected to focus on their careers alone. However, Mother discovers that women are powerful–see below Mother’s friend Liz (Archana Rajan), who’s pregnant and amazing and growing bones without even thinking about it.
But motherhood is also depicted as having its rewarding side. Despite having a fantasy in which she confides about how she’s dying inside having to stay home with him, Mother has a good relationship with Son. She seems to genuinely enjoy spending time with him, despite his keeping her up at night and sometimes making giant messes. I can relate; my youngest is a toddler who has autism. I love him very much, but he can be a whirling tornado of chaos. Mother’s complaint that she’s on “suicide watch” with her son because kids are reckless hit me right in the feels.
Overall, I don’t have a lot to gripe about. I loved the book this was based on, and I’ve been looking forward to seeing this for a couple of years (though I do have to admit the prose in the book was much more moving to me than the voiceover narration in the film). It’s a bit heavy-handed in terms of theme, but as I’ve pointed out, I wholeheartedly endorse all that it has to say. It’s classified as horror (and drama, and comedy), and there are some body horror aspects to it, especially the scene when Mother lances a mysterious lump on her back, and…we’ll leave it there. Her turning into a dog sequences are pretty creepy as well; here she is jerkily sniffing and pawing the ground:
“Ooh, blood!”–actual quote
Give it a look if you’re in the mood for something sharp and witty rather than gory.
Ever seen the American Film Institute’s list of movie quotes? Let me sum up: of the hundred, about 25 are Casablanca and Gone with the Wind. Most of the rest are from the other golden oldies that are revered by the writers of film studies textbooks; they may be well-made, but they’re also very much a reminder of how discriminatory Hollywood was in terms of race, gender, and sexual orientation. Though I give big ups for including Jaws, Psycho, and The Sixth Sense, the AFI’s selections just don’t speak to me, and if you’re on this site, perhaps they don’t speak to you, either. Though many of the movies I quote from aren’t horror, they are all delightful (the quotes, not necessarily the movies). After trying and failing to narrow down my own list to a slim ten squared, here is part twenty-three. (And no, I had no idea how many of these I would write when I started in with the Roman numerals–I keep watching movies!) In no particular order:
25. Nada (Roddy Piper): “I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I’m all out of bubble gum.” (They Live, 1988)
24. Kim (Anna Lore): “Look at you. You’re so chill. Try that haircut in my school. No one would talk to you.” Veronica (Monique Kim): “I’d talk to me.” (They/Them, 2022)
23. Barbie (Margot Robbie), who has ventured out into the real world for the first time: “Why are these men looking at me?” Ken (Ryan Gosling): “Yeah, they’re also staring at me.” Barbie: “I feel kind of ill at ease, like…I don’t know the word for it, but I’m…conscious, but it’s myself that I’m conscious of.” Ken: “I’m not getting any of that. I feel what could only be described as admired.” Man: “Damn, girl!” Ken: “But not ogled. And there’s no undertone of violence.” Barbie: “Mine very much has an undertone of violence.” (Barbie, 2023)
22. Junebug (Trayce Malachi): “No, no, no. Squidward just be killing the plot. I can’t believe you don’t watch SpongeBob. Why not? Huh, Fontaine? Why don’t you watch SpongeBob?” Fontaine (John Boyega): “Cause I don’t, all right? Damn. Shut your ass up.” Junebug: “You’re a real Squidward.” Fontaine: “I’m not Squidward.” Junebug: “So you do watch it.” (They Cloned Tyrone, 2023)
Not that scene, but I love it. In case you missed mid-’90s R&B, they’re singing a Mary J. Blige song, and it’s adorable.
21. [A group of diners in a super-fancy restaurant try to console the melancholy chef, Katherine (Christina Brucato)] Lillian (Janet McTeer): “Mmm. This is fantastic. The tartness of the umeboshi and the waves of ferment. It’s rich, and yet it’s clean. It’s delicious.” Katherine: “Yes, well, there was a time that would have meant a lot to me, Ms. Bloom.” [Sniffles, begins crying] Margot (Anya Taylor-Joy): “Mmm.” Felicity (Aimee Carrero): “It’s so good.” Anne (Judith Light): “Yes, it’s really good.” Margot: “Mmm-hmm.” Felicity: “You know, it’s the emoji for me.” Lillian: “Umeboshi.” Felicity: “Hmm?” Lillian: “Umeboshi.” Felicity: “Umeboshi.” Lillian: “This is so good.” Felicity: “You’re very talented.” Katherine: “Thank you.” Anne: “Usually don’t like foam, but…” (The Menu, 2021)
20. Nancy (Nicole Kidman) is pondering the handbook from the gay conversion program she’s forced her son into, noticing it’s riddled with typos: “We always come back to Dog’s true design. [Ruefully, to herself] Almighty Dog.” (Boy Erased, 2018)
19. Jimmy (Will Weldon): “Oh my God. You are a monster.” Bob (Ron Lynch): “I was going to tell you.” Jimmy: “About this?” Bob: “Well, yeah, we’re gonna be working closely together for several months, so I think you should know.” Jimmy: “That you eat people.” Bob: “Jimmy, both you and I know that comedians aren’t really people.” (Too Late, 2021)
18. [A group of Norwegians are playing Twister] Roy (Stig Frode Henriksen): “Why do we play this game?” Erlend (Jeppe Beck Laursen): “Because Hollywood told us it’s so much fun.” (Dead Snow, 2009)
16. Sukie (Beanie Feldstein), angrily watching her promiscuous girlfriend demonstrating where a lime wedge is going for a body shot contest: “Pull that out! That is not a public receptacle!” (Drive-Away Dolls, 2024)
15. Head Hospital Admin (John Shepard): “Let’s not hit the panic button yet, Ms. Henry. I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical explanation for all of this.” Cynthia (Mo’Nique): “I just saw a little boy break his restraints, crawl out of that bed, crawl backwards on the floor, and climb up the fucking wall. What button should I push, Doctor?” (The Deliverance, 2024)
14. Liz (Emma Stone): “Dad, last night I had a dream. I was lying on that beach where they found me. I don’t remember what I was wearing, but it was like I had been there for years. And you were there. Daniel was there. We all were. Funny thing is, life in that place wasn’t like it is here. It took me a few days to realize, but that place went by different rules. There, dogs were in charge. People were animals and animals were people. I must admit, Dad, the dogs treated us pretty well. They gave us food, and they bandaged our wounds after licking them, and they never bit us, even when we tried to hurt them. And every morning they gave us chocolate to eat. Because dogs mustn’t eat chocolate, you know. Lamb, which is my favorite food, was a rare treat, and the dogs mostly kept that for themselves. For the first few days, I refused to eat and I waited for leftover lamb chop, but someone else always got to it first, so eventually I just ate the chocolate because there was lots of it around. And I didn’t like it much, but it was better than going hungry, and so from then on, I ate chocolate every day. And here’s the conclusion I came to: it’s better to eat something that’s always available when you’re hungry than to depend on something that runs out early every morning. And I mean every morning. Daniel isn’t perfect, but he’s always been there for me.” (Kinds of Kindness, 2024)
13. [Jonas (Adam Lundgren) has sustained a grievous head wound, and Anette (Cecilia Nilsson) is fixing to sew it shut] Annette: “There, there. Yuck. Yuck, that’s gross. Are you ready?” Jonas: “Yeah…” Anette: “This will sting a little.” Jonas (Adam Lundgren): “Mother…fucking…bitch!” Anette: “Quiet, or I won’t stitch you up.” (Konferensen, AKA The Conference, 2023)
12. Lee (Maika Monroe), an FBI agent, explaining to her mother Ruth (Alicia Witt) that she’ll be too busy with work to visit: Ruth: “Be careful they don’t work you too hard, all right?” Lee: “Yeah, but it’s good. It’s really good. They put me on something important.” Ruth: “Yeah? What is it?” Lee: “Well, I can’t tell you. You wouldn’t want to hear about it anyways.” Ruth: “Not nice things.” Lee: “I don’t think the Bureau has a division for nice things.” (Longlegs, 2024)
11. Sarah (Kiana Madeira): “I don’t fear the devil. Hannah, I fear the neighbor who would accuse me. I fear the mother that would let her daughter hang. I fear Union. They lead us like lambs to the slaughter and expect us to just follow. Well, they will see. I am no lamb.” (Fear Street: Part III–1666, 2021)
10. [Charly (Geena Davis), a CIA agent, has suffered grave injuries and collapsed on the ground right next to a bomb. Her daughter Caitlin (Yvonne Zima) is trying to rouse her] “Would you stop it? Stop being a little baby. Get up now. You’re not dead. Don’t you die. You get up now. Life is pain. You just get used to it! So stand up right this minute, Mommy.” (The Long Kiss Goodnight, 1996)
Also a good scene: Charly’s CIA training starts coming back to her after eight years of amnesia. She cuts her finger while chopping a carrot, and when her boyfriend tries to take over, she playfully growls and says, “I’m gonna cut this carrot, and you’re gonna eat the blood-soaked pieces and like it. Piss off.”
9. [Bill (Bokeem Woodbine) has inelegantly tried to woo a woman, and she pulled a gun on him.] Jim (Nate Parker): “That didn’t go exactly as I thought it would. Personally, I was hoping for a slap, but the gun to the face [laughs] was a nice touch. Guess I can settle for that.” Bill: “You know what, Jim? I think I’ll kill you first.” (They Die By Dawn, 2013)
8. Ella (Aisling Franciosi), having an imagined conversation with her comatose mother, Suzanne: “I’m the one living my life. It’s my turn.” Suzanne (Stella Gonet): [Laughs] “You can’t control anything. You’re a puppet caught in your own strings. And if it isn’t me pulling them, it’s somebody else. But when the puppets are done with their play, they’re put back in the box.” (Stopmotion, 2023)
7. Khadijah (Lupita Nyong’o): “The package is in an office two halls away.” Marie (Diane Kruger): “Security?” Khadijah: “The buyer has a team. The seller has an army.” Marie: “What do we have? Please don’t say each other.” [Khadijah displays two spray bottles] “Acetone. Hydrogen peroxide. Your file says demolitions. Can you make this work?” (The 355, 2022)
6. Gus (Rhys Auteri): “You’re meddling with things you don’t understand.” Jack (David Dastmalchian): “Okay. If we manage to conjure Satan, I give you express permission to go right for that exit. Okay? If Earth swallows us whole, I apologize in advance.” (Late Night with the Devil, 2023)
5. Michael (Kenneth Nelson): “If there’s one thing I’m not ready for, it’s five screaming queens singing ‘Happy Birthday.'” Donald (Frederick Combs): “Who’s coming?” Michael: “Well, they’re really all Harold’s friends. It’s his birthday, and I want everything to be just the way he’d want it. I don’t wanna have to listen to him kvetch about how nobody ever does anything for anybody but themselves.” Donald: “Himself.” Michael: “Himself. I think you know everybody, anyway. It’s the same old tired fairies you’ve seen around since the day one. Actually there’ll be seven, counting Harold and you and me.” Donald: “Are you calling me a screaming queen or a tired fairy?” Michael: “I beg your pardon. There’ll be six tired, screaming fairy queens and one anxious queer.” (The Boys in the Band, 1970)
4. Guy (Johnny Depp) is helping a missing guy’s friends track him down, and is proffering weaponry: “These are guns.” Teddy (Haley Joel Osment): “I don’t want one.” Guy: “You don’t want a gun?” Teddy: “You take em.” Guy: “What? What kind of American are you?” (Tusk, 2014)
3. Killer Joe (Matthew McConaughey): “If you insult me again, I will cut your face off and wear it over my own.” (Killer Joe, 2011)
2. Roger (David Alan Grier): “Aren, what’s the most dangerous animal on the planet?” Aren: (Justice Smith): “Sharks.” Roger: “White people. When are white people most dangerous?” Aren: “When they’re teamed up with sharks.” Roger: “When they feel uncomfortable.” Aren: “Okay, were sharks a part of it, or…” Roger: “White people feeling uncomfortable precedes a lot of bad stuff for us. White people move into a neighborhood, they feel uncomfortable: gentrification.” Aren: “Okay.” Roger: “White cop sees a Black man, feels uncomfortable: another shooting. Was a time when all you had to do was look at a white man and make him uncomfortable. That was pretty much it for you.” Aren: “Yeah, I get that. I’m just not the…” Roger: “For some of us, the last thing we see in this world is an uncomfortable white man. But I don’t blame white people for that. I blame their discomfort. That’s why we here at the American Society of Magical Negroes fight white discomfort every damn day. We are the vanguard of white relaxation. Black knights making sure that they don’t take it out on a Brother. Because the happier they are, the safer we are.” (The American Society of Magical Negroes, 2024)
1. Piper (Nicole Beharie): “Didn’t catch my meaning? It’s funny, that to catch a meaning…catch a meaning, it’s like a knife, or a hot potato, like little bits of colored glass broken and scattered, all ready to be put back together.” (Apartment 4E, 2012)
Author’s note: I have extensively relied on IMDb for help, both with dates and with some of the quotes.
“The reality is, unless we’ve been given a ballpark figure by a reputable physician (and sometimes not even then), not a single one of us knows when we’re going to shuffle off this mortal coil. It’s morbid, but it’s true. Tomorrow you could get hit by a bus, or mauled by a pack of wolves, or be scared to death by a clown.”
–Sarah Knight, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck
A man stands behind me. Slight and very pale, his chalky pallor accentuated by oily black hair, slicked back from a high widow’s peak. Despite the warm weather, he wears a dark suit over a collarless grey shirt. He looks like a vampire on his way to a jazz club.”
“Amy doesn’t say anything, unwilling to draw attention to herself. Or the fact that she hates haunted house attractions. And corn mazes. And pretty much anything that exists in the real world. They make her dizzy with panic. Movies are controlled–carefully constructed and unalterable narratives. In real life things can get messy–not in a guy’s intestines hanging out way, but in unexpected ways. There’s no control out in the world. There is only life. Chaos.”
I began my college career as a psychology major, and I have an AA in social science. Therefore, I am qualified to treat mental health issues…not at all. Whatsoever. Buuut I once read an article about how the movie The Martian is good for anxiety because Matt Damon’s character puts aside his problems in order to survive. He gets shit done. Which is good for anxiety. Therefore I’ve compiled a list of gettin shit done horror movies, Strong Female Protagonists edition.
*Content warning: some of the films discussed deal with sensitive subjects, including suicide and rape*
The Hatred
A quartet of college students are staying at a cheap murder house to babysit a little girl while her parents go to a work thing. Little do they know that the house is haunted by a Nazi expat and the daughter he drowned for disobeying him. The film has been promoted by the writer/director as having smart leads. Indeed, they’re way more obsessed with wine and boys than I’d prefer, but they’re pretty competent. Samantha is a history buff who speaks German and says things like “This looks like an 11th century Viking death mask. I’m in heaven!” and “There are some fascinating artifacts down in that basement.” Meanwhile, our main protagonist Regan is a book nerd who’s always levelheaded even after cutting the shit out of her foot and finding corpses and being dragged through the house by a ghost. As she tells Irene, “We have to be brave. That is the only way we’re gonna make it out of this house.” When an ancillary character meets their doom in the house, does she stop to see what happened? No, she steals their truck and gets the fuck out!
Labyrinth
Bratty teen Sarah hates watching her baby brother so much that she wishes for goblins to steal him. They do, and somehow she’s upset about it. Jareth, the Goblin King, offers her a chance to get Toby back if she makes it through his titular labyrinth in thirteen hours. Now I can hear you saying, this isn’t a horror movie. Not technically, but it’s creepy as fuck. Just look at this!
Or what about the scene when the Elmo-sounding flamingo-vulture-things chase Sarah, threatening to dismember her?
Moving on, Sarah is fierce. She never considers giving up, even if she has to learn to quit having tantrums and complaining that it’s not fair. She learns that life has crazy arbitrary rules and “that’s the way it is.” Every time she comes to the conclusion that she knows what she’s doing or that it’s going to be easy, shit goes down to prove her wrong. But she hangs in there. Even when Jareth taunts her, saying “You’re no match for me, Sarah”, and gaslighting her: “Everything that you wanted I have done. You asked that the child be taken. I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations. Isn’t that generous?” Sarah snaps back with, “My will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great […] You have no power over me!”
All Cheerleaders Die
*Content warning: A cat is hurled against a wall; she’s brought back to life moments later, but the incident is played for laughs.
Maddy is making a documentary about cheerleaders when her friend, the subject of her film, dies. Maddy becomes a cheerleader herself to get access to popular football player Terry, whom we later find out raped her. Meanwhile, her obsessed ex Leena is constantly tailing her. When Maddy and her new friends Martha, Hanna, and Tracy are run off the road by Terry and his henchmen, Leena brings them back to life with “crazy Wicca bullshit” (which is nothing like actual Wicca, but it’s entertaining). She’s delightfully proud of herself. The gals use their newfound super strength and bloodlust to take revenge on the boys who wronged them.
The Ring
Rachel is a journalist in the bygone days of the early aughts, in a world of landlines, newspapers, photo processing, and VHS tapes. One such tape contains a curse by an angry ghost that kills people seven days after watching it. Rachel watches the tape, decides she better get busy living instead of busy dying, and busts her ass to figure out what’s going on. We’re talking dial-up internet searches, looking through newspaper archives, stacks of books! Rachel is tough. We’re introduced to her by hearing her shouting at her boss: “Don’t tell me what to write! […] Listen, Harvey, you punctilious prick, you touch my column and I’m coming down there and poking your eye out with that little red pencil you like so much!” Later he tells her, “You’re fired,” to which she nonchalantly replies, “No, I’m not.” Rachel’s ex Noah is of some assistance, but mostly it’s Rachel’s show.
Promising Young Woman
Cassie is a med school student who dropped out when her friend Nina was raped and shortly after committed suicide. She now spends her days pretending to be drunk in bars to entice men into taking her home so she can teach them a lesson about consent. It’s not classified as a horror movie, but if she were killing the dudes (that movie has been made, and it’s called MFA), it would be. It’s plenty horrifying, believe me. Cassie can’t walk down the street without getting ogled and propositioned. She’s surrounded by men who pretend to be sensitive and looking out for her, cooing that she’s “so beautiful”. Cassie then takes her game to the next level by going on a roaring rampage of revenge, taking down everyone who contributed to Nina’s case being overturned.
Longlegs
Lee is a special agent with the FBI who’s just been handed a murder case: a decades-long series of familicide committed by the fathers. The only correlating factor is the daughters’ birthdays and a note left by a dude calling himself Longlegs. She goes to work, tirelessly figuring things out. (Judging by her rather haggard appearance, Lee doesn’t sleep much.) Lee is phenomenal at pushing herself to do terrifying things, like come after and arrest a suspect who just shot her partner in the face. Or, even scarier, take part in socializing with her boss, Agent Carter. When he requires her to go out for a drink with him to discuss the case and to come meet his family, she pleads, “Do I have to?”, but she does it anyway.
The Perfection
An elite cello academy offers a haven for adolescent music prodigies but also holds unholy secrets. Former students Charlotte and Lizzie, gushing fangirls of each others’ work and soon lovers, chafe under the endless pressure of being perfect, good girls and doing what’s expected of them. It involves lots of planning and gettin shit done. I don’t want to say too much and spoil the whole thing; I feel the best way to approach the movie if you’ve never seen it (or like me, you’ve seen it once but it’s been a while) is to know very little about it and let it shock you in its wonderful way.
Wait Until Dark
Three con men are vying for possession of a doll filled with heroin, which has landed in the hands of Sam when the smuggler tries to ditch her partner. Sam’s wife Susy, who’s blind, is targeted by the three while Sam is away. Too bad for them she’s smart, super capable, and has amazing hearing. She also has her neighbor Gloria, a sassy tween. Gloria is amusingly excited by all the goings-on. Susy asks her, “How would you like to do something difficult and very dangerous?” “I’d love it,” Gloria replies. When Susy says, “The first thing we have to do is stay calm,” Gloria answers, “I’m calm, Susy.” It’s the ’60s, not the best time to be a woman in film, so Susy has her flaws. She’s pretty needy with her husband, and she has some (very dignified) panic attacks. However, she’s still a badass, especially the scene when she breaks all the lightbulbs in her apartment so she and the bad guys are on a level playing field.
Speak No Evil
The Dalton family, mother Louise, father Ben, and tween daughter Agnes, are on holiday in Italy when they meet the charming British family Ciara, Paddy, and son Ant. The Daltons take up the Brits’ offer to come stay at theirs, which the Daltons soon regret as the couple turns out to be the worst kind of serial killer: self-righteous and smug. Luckily Louise and Agnes are scrappy as hell, and Ben isn’t completely useless. Agnes in particular has a mighty character arc; she goes from being completely dependent on her stuffed rabbit Hoppy (that fucking bunny is a stumbling block so many times you wish someone would just chuck it in a woodchipper already) to willfully surrendering it. Turns out that once you’re held hostage by people who want to cut out your tongue and pretend you’re their daughter, life doesn’t seem so scary.
Escape Room
Six randos get thrown into a super fancy escape room together. Turns out the games are for real, and they have to work together to solve the puzzles and avoid dying horribly. Our main protagonist is Zoey, who’s kind and unfailingly encourages the others. She’s also shy and tightly wound and brilliant. She says things like, “You know, I’m really psyched about having time to myself. I’ve been wanting to take a stab at one of those cuboid conjectures for, like, forever. It’s really cool, actually. They claim irreducibility of three univariate polynomials with integer coefficients, and if that is true, then Euler’s concept of a perfect box can’t exist.” Her physics professor, noting her reluctance to talk in class, challenges her to get outside of her comfort zone. Boy, does she!
The Lost Boys is a 1987 cult classic about punk vampire teens (and by “teens” I mean actors in their twenties). It’s funny and original, and the characters are pretty likable. It’s easy on the eyes, steeped in gauzy superimposition and breathtaking shots of Northern California. “Cry Little Sister” is its gorgeous, 80s-to-the-max theme song. If you’ve never seen the movie, or even if you have, please do check out the music video. If you weren’t into dudes before, you are now. Sorry.
“I can cure Ralph. Because it’s what I was born to do. Remember that, Abby, vanquishing this depression is your true calling as a wife. Just like every woman in a television commercial has a true calling–kill the bacteria and save your family; buy the healthy snacks and save your family; use the perfume and save your family. Just like those women, I have a calling, and I am listening for it, and I’ll try out new things every day: make perfect fried-egg sandwiches and save your family; clean up the blood with biodegradable soaps and save your family; tear up the carpet and bury the ring and put him to sleep with your body.”
“There was a doily on the chest of drawers. I eyed it warily. I have nothing against doilies, but they’re a slippery slope. You start with doilies, then pretty soon it’s crocheted table runners and then it’s a short step to antimacassars. As if doilies are some kind of larval form, and the table runners are an instar in their development. But then are the antimacassars the adult form, or just a later instar? Perhaps the adult form of the doily bears no resemblance to its juvenile stages.”
GhoulieJoe 