GhoulieJoe

‘Crazy Lips’ is Bizarre but Compelling

Japanese movie, AKA Hakkyousuru kuchibiru. Satomi (Hitomi Miwa) is a young woman whose brother Michio (Kazuma Suzuki) is a fugitive suspect in a murder case. She goes to the Psychic Research Center and enlists the help of wacky psychic Mamiya (Yoshiko Yura) and her assistant Touma. They show up at her house and do a séance to find the real killer. From there, poor Satomi encounters no end of weird stuff, from a quartet of headless ghosts to mysterious aliens (but no crazy lips–the title of the movie is never explained). It culminates in a free-for-all in the woods between Satomi’s family and the families of the victims.

This is a highly unusual movie, for multiple reasons. The theatrical trailer asserts, “People who watch this movie go crazy in a week.” Indeed, the first time I watched the film I was flummoxed, as it starts out as a pretty standard Japanese horror movie—then it turns odd. The events depicted are just plain strange, with dialogue like, “Go find your head!” and “Let the psychically trace it.” In addition, there is a musical number, and loony FBI agents Narimoto (Hiroshi Abe) and Lucy (Tomomi Kuribayashi), who’s blond, has blue contacts, and delivers all of her dialogue in English so heavily accented it still needs subtitles. One of my favorite scenes is when Lucy and Narimoto’s boss, the Colonel (Ren Ôsugi), speak privately to Satomi through her television. Her sister Kaori (Hijiri Natsukawa) enters the room, and Satomi can’t get to the remote to change the channel, so the Colonel and Lucy pretend they’re on a dance show. After a while, there doesn’t seem to be much of a plot, and everything you think you know about the characters is thrown out the window.

Another way the film is unusual is its sexual content. Crazy Lips has intercourse, nudity, incest, and even a dildo. Kaori is constantly in a state of sexual arousal, and Mamiya points out to her that “You took care of yourself last night.” Kaori also sexually harasses her ex-boyfriend, causing him to flee the house with no pants. There is a pretty disturbing rape scene when Touma forces Satomi to be penetrated by a corpse hanging from the ceiling. (This of course is the scene that my brother happened to walk in on while I was watching it—good times.) Thus, in between the wackiness, there is some serious stuff. It makes the film hard to pin down as one particular genre.

crazy3 — What is happening inside this movie is a better question

I didn’t like the movie very much the first time I saw it, mostly because I wasn’t expecting the unexpected. This time, I was ready to be taken for a ride, and I had a blast. Give it a look if you’re in the mood for something wacky and wicked.

‘Bride of Chucky’ is a Fun and Funny Sequel

The fourth movie in the Child’s Play series. Chucky (Brad Dourif) has been dismembered and stored in a police evidence room, and his sometime lover Tiffany (Jennifer Tilly) is coming to get him and bring him back to life. (And yet again try to put him in a human body.) Meanwhile, teenagers Jesse (Nick Stabile) and Jade (Katherine Heigl) want to be together, but Jade’s cruel uncle (John Ritter) won’t let them. Tiffany and Chucky need the amulet that was buried with Chucky’s corpse to get human bodies again, so Tiffany pays Jesse to drive the dolls to the cemetery, prompting Jesse to take Jade so they can elope. Chucky and Tiffany leave a trail of bodies behind that the kids are being blamed for. The dolls eventually reveal themselves, and the two couples have to battle for the bodies.

Bride Of Chucky - 1998 — A smoldering look from Jennifer Tilly can make anyone fall to pieces

Bride of Chucky is my favorite Child’s Play sequel; I’m not a fan of 2, 3, or Seed of Chucky (though I admit Seed was occasionally funny). Curse of Chucky and Cult of Chucky are solid, but they don’t have that retro charm. Bride is just as cheesy as the others, but it’s playful rather than earnest and awful like 2 and 3, or going overboard with jokes like Seed. It brings a fresh new twist to the series while making fun of it; as Tiffany’s wannabe boyfriend Damien (Alexis Arquette) exclaims about Chucky, “He’s so ‘80s!” Or like Tiffany points out, mocking Chucky for his lack of imagination in clinging to his butcher knife, “Stabbings went out with Bundy and Dahmer. You look like Martha Stewart with that thing.”

bc1 — “Without an open-minded mind, you can never be a great success. Now make me a sammich!”

I think there are quite a few things to like here. Despite the fact that it was released in 1998, the special effects are amazing, the most impressive aspect being the ability of the dolls to smoke. Kevin Yagher, who designed the original Chucky doll (and also worked on Tales from the Crypt), is the puppeteer coordinator. I love the soundtrack. I also adore Jennifer Tilly. For me, the film also evokes a lot of nostalgia; I saw it in the theatre with some of my favorite horror movie buddies.

My main gripe about the movie is that when Tiffany becomes a doll, she can somehow still reach everything in her trailer. I also dislike the instance when Chucky and Tiffany have yucky doll sex—that’s one of the least appealing love scenes I’ve ever witnessed; thankfully it’s brief and mostly off-screen. I don’t like how gender roles are strictly enforced, with Jesse the hero and Jade basically useless. And don’t get me started on their friend David (Gordon Michael Woolvett), the stereotypical gay guy, or the implausible, tacked-on ending.

But going back to the special effects–look at this doll on the verge of tears! That’s a more moving and convincing performance than you can get out of some humans.

All griping aside, I love this boooooobs–ahem, movie.

‘The Conqueror Worm’ is About as Raunchy as You’d Expect, Given the Title, but Not Scary

English movie by way of good ol’ American International Pictures. It’s also known as Witchfinder General, but that’s not nearly as entertaining to write about. Vincent Price is Matthew Hopkins, the town Witchfinder in 1645 England. Basically he’s in charge of accusing people of witchcraft and seeing them punished. Too bad he’s also corrupt, and wont to take bribes in the form of riches or sex. Case in point being Sara (Hilary Heath), wife of protagonist Richard (Ian Ogilvy). She tries to save her uncle’s life with intercourse, but Matthew is not satisfied and names her as a witch too. In order to save her, Richard has to stand up to Hopkins and his evil minions.

cw4 — Somebody brought a rapier to a pistol party!

It was made in the late ‘60s, when horror movies were gravitating towards more gore and nudity, which this film has aplenty, from drunken half-dressed harlots to witches being hanged and poked with needles. Gore notwithstanding, the film isn’t scary at all. Not the biggest fan of period pieces (particularly circa-1600s period pieces), I was often bored. The characters are all either uninteresting or hypocritical. There also doesn’t seem to be much of a plot, and if it’s about something (besides that it’s not nice to torture people for personal gain) I have no idea what it is. On the other hand, gripes aside, it’s Vincent Price. Check it out if you’re in the mood to party like it’s 1649.

‘Cello’ is Subtle but Powerful

Korean movie, AKA Chello hongmijoo ilga salinsagan. Mi-ju (Hyun-Ah Sung) is a music professor recovering from a car accident in which her friend Tae-yeon (Da-an Park) was killed. Her life takes a turn for the worse after listening to a cassette tape of Tae-yeon and her playing music. Her family is disintegrating, from her sister-in-law Kyung-ran (Jin Woo) to her daughter Yoon-jin, who mysteriously takes up the cello and begins acting odd (like biting her sister for trying to touch the instrument). Meanwhile she also has to contend with a disgruntled former student and a creepy new housekeeper, one of whom is sending threatening texts. Or is it Tae-yeon back for revenge?

First, a warning about the subtitles. Unless you can speak Korean (if you do, congrats), you will need captioning. Unfortunately, in the case of this movie, there are numerous mistakes, the most I’ve ever seen in a foreign movie, most notably Min-ju’s last name alternating from Hong to Song, and characters uttering phrases like “Don’t start?”

There are occasional creepy moments (though none of these come from Tae-yeon, who looks a bit too much like Morticia from The Addams Family).

The opening sequence shows Mi-ju being revived after the accident; she’s broken and bloody, but the scene is overlaid with peaceful cello music. The text messages are also eerie in their vague but somehow threatening way.

Overall, it’s good watchin. The acting is decent from even the young actors, it’s not extremely predictable, and it’s fairly disturbing. Until the last 20 minutes or so, when the action really picks up, it’s slow, but not boring. Give it a look if you’re in the mood for a thoughtful ghost story.

‘A Brush with Death’ is More Like a Brush with Mediocrity

Low budget movie, supposedly “based on true events.” Five teenage girls (cheerleaders, natch) head to a relative’s mansion for the weekend, and decide instead to visit the house nearby where a young boy killed his sociopath brother. When one of the girls disappears, the other four have to scramble to avoid the same fate.

bwd2 — “Fuck this dump! Let’s go to the murder house!”

Maybe there’s a tongue-in-cheek quality I’m missing, but the female leads, who spend much of the movie scantily dressed, have no character development, no depth, and no redeeming qualities. I had trouble even telling them apart. With the exception of kindly Amber (Seanna McDonald), they’re catty, vapid bimbos. They make statements like these: “Stupid blondes.” “Uh, you’re a blonde.” “Well I’m a dirty blonde.” “Yeah you are a dirty blonde.” Aside from that, the acting is terrible and the twist ending is predictable. And to top it all off, the title is a pun. Below is pretty much the movie in a nutshell:

The less than prudent decision to visit the rickety old house reminds me of when I was a kid and my friend Hope and I recorded ourselves making haunted house tapes. The plot was invariably a stranded person or couple with a broken down car, needing to use the phone in the creepy house up the street. The two media are a bit different, but similar in quality of production value, script, and delivery. Now I’m not saying don’t watch; I am saying if you’re looking for something you can poke fun at, perhaps with friends (my favorite horror movie buddies include my two sisters), this is a prime candidate. Check it out if you’re in the mood for some tomfoolery.

Kasi Lemmons’s ‘The Caveman’s Valentine’ is Gorgeous and Intense

Romulus (Samuel L. Jackson), also known as the Caveman, is a homeless schizophrenic man. In another life he was a brilliant concert pianist, but he now lives in a cave in Central Park. After coming across a dead body, he decides it’s the work of his phantom enemy Steiberson, and vows to solve the case. A friend points him to David Leppenraub (Colm Feore), a famous photographer, who knew the deceased. Romulus infiltrates Leppenraub’s world, putting himself in jeopardy to find the truth.

2cv — And looking amazing while doing so

The film is less a horror movie than a psychological thriller, directed by Kasi Lemmons–did you know she directs? She’s more than just the white protagonist’s sassy best friend. I did find it disturbing. The main character is clearly delusional—or is he? We’re given little flashes throughout the film that force us to identify with him and his ideas, like a shot of him on a video camera while yelling at Steiberson, or whispers in his head that we can hear. There’s also the scene when he sees a murder on his TV (which isn’t even plugged in), but he finds a corpse outside in the morning.

3cv — I’ve had it with these motherfucking Steibersons in my motherfucking cave!

Overall, Romulus is a sympathetic character, though I can’t help but cheer a little inside when his daughter Lulu (Aunjanue Ellis) blows up at him for being so darn unstable. He’s a prince compared to the people who jeer and laugh at him, or wealthy couple Bob (Anthony Michael Hall) and Betty (Kate McNeil) who exploit him for his piano-playing skills, or Leppenraub, who’s creepy and vulpine (Feore is definitely trying to channel Hannibal Lecter).

2cv — “Check Raspail’s car for your caveman’s valentines, Clarice!”

As can be expected from Lemmons’s other film Eve’s Bayou, the cinematography is spectacular. The writing is solid, the performances are great, and it’s pretty unpredictable. The last twenty or so minutes are a little Scooby Doo-ish, but overall, it’s definitely worth watching. Give it a look if you’re in the mood for a murder mystery with an unusual protagonist.

‘Case 39’ Isn’t Particularly Original, but Still Quite Enjoyable

Emily (Renée Zellweger) is a social worker who comes into contact with Lilith (Jodelle Ferland), a ten-year-old girl who has been showing signs of neglect. Lilith’s parents clearly dislike her, and Emily eventually catches the two of them shoving Lilith in their oven. Emily gains custody of Lilith, who unfortunately is not as sweet and innocent as she seems. She in fact has “the soul of a demon” and is intent on killing or corrupting everyone around her. Emily has no choice but to go to Lilith’s parents for help.

For me the most interesting thing about the film is that normal notions of control are abruptly reversed. One may feel initially bad for Lilith, who insists her parents hate her, and we see they are indeed cold, sullen, and just not right. However, by the end of the movie I’m ready for that sassbox to get her comeuppance. Emily is at the mercy of Lilith, who can do everything from dismantle an elevator to inflict a horrible death by whispering in someone’s ear. At the same time, Lilith is also a typical child—with evil powers. As she tells Emily, “If I say I want ice cream every day after school, you have to do it.” The film takes the concept of child abuse and inverts it, with Emily terrified of Lilith, even bolting her bedroom door to keep Lilith out.

It’s a somewhat original idea, though at times it seems like a composite of a dozen other horror movies. It still has a few eerie moments, the creepiest to me being a scene when Emily’s friend Doug (Bradley Cooper), targeted by Lilith, has hornets coming out of his ears, nose, mouth, and eyes.

c39 2 — “Oh no, not the hornets! Not the hornets! AAAAAHHHHH! Oh, they’re in my eyes! My eyes!”

Impressive performances abound, particularly Ferland as Lilith; she’s long past ten years old here, but she can almost pass for it. Give it a look if you’re in the mood for a demonic child movie.

1959’s ‘A Bucket of Blood’ Contains Neither Blood nor Buckets but is Still a Good Time

Directed by Roger Corman. Walter (Dick Miller) is a busboy at a beatnik coffeehouse with aspirations of doing something more. After accidentally killing a cat, he turns it into a sculpture and makes a splash (splatter?) in the art world. Unfortunately staying popular involves making more art, and Walter finds himself growing increasingly more vicious.

The most striking thing about the film for me is its resemblance to The Little Shop of Horrors, which was released the next year. It’s the same director and production company. The main characters are similar in demeanor (meek), self-esteem (poor), and willingness to murder to get their dream girl. Both become increasingly crazier and harder to empathize with. Both films feature bosses finding out their horrible secret and overbearing mother figures.

bb2 — Ha, they really do land on their feet

So what makes them different? Little Shop considers the plight of the poor (and Jewish stereotypes), while Bucket concerns the shallowness of the art scene and the nature of fame (and beatnik stereotypes). It asks the age-old question of what makes art: is it training or raw talent? Are art patrons so willing to conform to popular notions of avant garde art that they’re willing to applaud a dead cat encased in clay? The film pokes fun at artsy types, but poet Maxwell (Julian Burton) is a likably loony character.

bb4 — “Why do you suggest anything to Walter? Are you the spokesman for society come to put your stifling finger in his eye?” –actual quote

Another thing that correlates the two films in my mind are the touches that are outside the norm of the supposedly wholesome 1950s-1960s. Little Shop briefly features a hooker; Bucket directly references heroin use. Walter, having no idea what it is, accepts it from a crazy fan, and is busted by an undercover cop, whom he promptly kills.

“I really wanna get ahead in the art world!”

All in all, it’s an amusing watch—mostly because it’s extremely dated. The acting is acceptable, the plot is thoughtful, and the special effects aren’t bad. Give it a look if you’re in the mood for a short (65 minutes) trip to the past.

‘Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2′ is a Pop Culture Bag o’ Fun (and Creepiness)

The movie picks up a couple of months after the first film left off. Supposedly, it’s a “fictionalized re-enactment of events that occurred after the release of The Blair Witch Project.” (I don’t think anybody bought that true-story stuff this time around, despite the actors once again using their real first names.) The Blair Witch has become extremely commercialized, with flocks of tourists upsetting the locals by tramping through the Burkittsville woods. One such group is the Blair Witch-Hunt, comprised of tour guide Jeff (Jeffrey Donovan), couple Stephen (Stephen Barker Turner) and Tristen (Tristine Skyler), who are researching a book on group hysteria, Erica (Erica Leerhsen), a Wiccan wanting to commune with the Witch, and Kim (Kim Director), a psychic goth who “thought the movie was cool.” After a night of drinking and drugs, they wake up to find the campsite destroyed and have no recollection of the last five hours. Good thing there are tapes, and they head out to Jeff’s place to examine them. Meanwhile their behavior becomes erratic and irrational, prompting the idea that they brought something back with them.

I for once have no gripes. Few people from the original movie were involved (one of my criteria for a good sequel), but judging by director Joe Berlinger’s notes in the DVD booklet, he understood the ideas behind the first one. It follows the logic closely, and while it adds details about the Blair Witch, the mystery is still maintained. It’s witty how the first film is fiction in the world of the second movie. It contributes to the theme of questioning reality—is reality perception alone? Does believing in something make it real? As the five of them watch their uncharacteristic behavior on the tapes—for example a naked Erica swinging around a tree—they all state they could never act that way. Stephen tries to tell the sheriff that what’s on the tapes isn’t what really happened. But “video never lies.” Though of course the first viewing is the most shocking, I find there are still some moments that were disturbing the second time, like a flashback of Jeff’s past in a mental hospital; he’s force-fed through a tube in his nose by a particularly evil-looking medical staff. The opening credits are also rather creepy; they’re crosscut with a person being stabbed and hung, accompanied by Marilyn Manson’s “Disposable Teens.”

One of my favorite aspects of the film is Erica, a fairly authentic Wiccan. She dispels a few tiresome movie stereotypes about witches, citing the Wiccan creed “harm none.” She also states, “I don’t even believe in the devil. That’s a Christian concept.” Thank you! But the character I like best is Kim (see above), who’s a surlier and jaded version of my sister’s friend, also named Kim. Though nowhere near as eerie and revolutionary as the original film, it’s clever and involving.

bs1 — “I really don’t remember that part with you girls and that cup!”

‘Boogeyman’ (2005) is Safe for the Faint of Heart–and Easy on the Eyes

Tim (Barry Watson) is haunted by his past, figuratively and literally. He’s disturbed by memories like his dad (Charles Mesure) locking him in a closet, but he’s also bothered by the fact that his dad was killed by the boogeyman. (Kids! You never know what’s gonna set em off.) When his mother (Lucy Lawless) dies, Tim returns to his hometown for the funeral. He’s also hoping to reconcile with the past by sleeping in his childhood house. After reconnecting with old friend Kate (Emily Deschanel) and making friends with a young girl (Skye McCole Bartusiak) not unlike himself as a child, he realizes he must do what he has never done: face his fears.

The boogeyman concept is an almost guaranteed scare for me, and I first watched this movie expecting to be freaked out. I was sorely disappointed, as it relies on cheap startles—things happening suddenly like a bird flying into Tim’s windshield—rather than the main attraction. (Eventually the monster does make an appearance, but he’s so CGI’d that he’s no creepier than something made by Pixar). Another overused tactic (which many filmmakers are guilty of these days) is Tim’s hallucinations. Is something in the closet? What’s that behind Tim? It’s a big fake-out! Every time. There are so many of these sequences that I stopped caring what was actually happening. And don’t get me started on the tacked-on ending and how useless Tim’s girlfriend Jessie (Tory Mussett) is.

For me, there are only two scenes in the movie that are effective. The first is at the beginning, when child Tim is freaked out by the boogeyman. His dad huffs in to show him there’s nothing in the closet, but of course there is. The second is when grown-up Tim and Jessie go to a motel. While she takes a bath, he visits the ice machine. He returns to find her completely gone. (Not a spoiler, trust me.) Upon checking the closet, he finds himself back at the house. After driving back to the motel, he finds bloody hand-prints on the tub. We’re left to imagine what happened to Jessie, and none of the scenarios are pleasant. (One of my least favorite ways to die: nabbed by a boogie-guy while bathing.) Not showing the monster until the end of the movie is meant to work like this, making us use our imaginations against ourselves, but doesn’t; instead it’s (forgive the cliché) all sizzle and no steak.

This time around I did admire the camera angles; there are a lot of tilted and high angle shots, indicating that the subject is being overpowered or that something is wrong, respectively. I also like how Tim’s face is lit; the filmmakers use a lot of soft or super bright lighting to make his face look pretty.

5bm — Even when they’re horrified, they look so damn gorgeous!

Most of the cast of Seventh Heaven has made a horror movie, and none of them are terrific, so don’t expect greatness from Watson. But if there are fans of the show left, I recommend it to them, as there are few scares and not much gore. Xena fans: Lucy Lawless is barely in it, but she looks kinda cute as a blond. Since Renee O’Connor is in Boogeyman II, make it a double feature.