The Horrors of Adulting: Irony is Bad for My Blood

Posted byGhoulieJoePosted inThe Horrors of AdultingTags:,

I’ve recently become enamored of an indie publishing company called Cursed Morsels Press, and a couple weeks ago I was reading an anthology of sports-themed body horror stories. Naturally, I had to share my observations with my friend Brianna.

I wrote, “The stories are well-written, but there are just way more suppurating wounds than I expected […] Lol every story has ghastly injuries dripping with unspeakable fluids.” “Not the fluids!” Brianna replied. “ALL the fluids! But mostly pus unfortunately,” I said. “So much yuck” responded Brianna.

Unbeknownst to me, I was a few hours away from going to the emergency room because my finger had been paining me for a few days and was now puffy and purplish. It turned out to be infected. I’ll spare you the gory details; I received some antibiotics and my finger is now finging properly and no longer resembling a grape lollipop. It’s not a pretty story, but I find the irony too amusing not to share.

As a palate cleanser, here’s a cat that was standing outside the automatic doors as I was leaving. It really wanted to come in for some reason.

Published by GhoulieJoe

I'm a mom who loves horror movies, the '80s, and the library. I write about the above three topics more than is healthy. I've got reviews, listicles, lil nonfiction pieces, and random bits of whutnot. I also included some pretentious as hell microfiction (don't worry, it's at the bottom). Because horror is life and vice versa.

12 thoughts on “The Horrors of Adulting: Irony is Bad for My Blood”

  1. A) I am very sorry to hear about your finger and I’m happy it’s moving along in the right direction.

    2) suppurating? I had to look that up and I love it. That’s probably a good way to describe my writing!

    C) With your finger healing is your touch still that of a ghoul?

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      3. Now I’m reading an anthology of stories that take place in the universe of Stephen King’s The Stand by an amazing compendium of authors…who every single one has a character who’s dying of the plague and just exploding with mucus lol.

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  2. I feel like you’ve got the makings of an awesome 70s horror film here. Female writer drives to a hospital. On the way, she is scratched by a strange cat. All her fingers turn purple and explode. Anybody who touches the unspeakable fluids gets infected.

    Are we legally allowed to call it “Cat Scratch Fever”? Not sure, but we start shooting as soon as “Smash Burgers” wraps. I’m glad you’re ok, you’re the lead.

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  4. I’m glad your finger is back to its normal size, shape and color. Might want to cut back on all the puss-related reading, though. Don’t know which one it was, but clearly one of those stories you read contained some sort of curse.

    “Oh, you want to complain about the content, hmm? Well now you BECOME the content! Mwahahahaha!”

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