GhoulieJoe

‘The Midnight Meat Train’: Exquisite and Eerie (review)

Leon (Bradley Cooper) is a photographer looking to capture the brutal heart of New York City. He gets more than he bargained for when he comes across Mahogany (Vinnie Jones), a serial killer who hunts his victims on the late-night subway (as suggested by the title). Leon, intrigued by Mahogany, tracks him, and finds outContinue reading “‘The Midnight Meat Train’: Exquisite and Eerie (review)”

‘The Messengers’: Meh

Directed by Danny and Oxide Chun Pang. Jess (Kristen Stewart) is a teenage girl getting a fresh start on a South Dakota farm with her family: little brother Ben, mother Denise (Penelope Ann Miller), and father Roy (Dylan McDermott). She’s at odds with her parents for an incident of drunk driving, so when she beginsContinue reading “‘The Messengers’: Meh”

Lucky McKee’s ‘May’: A Savage Look at Unrealistic Beauty Standards

May (Angela Bettis) is an extremely lonely young woman looking for that perfect somebody. She mourns the fact that people have “pretty parts, but no pretty wholes.” She meets Adam (Jeremy Sisto), who is initially interested, but soon creeped out by her, particularly when she bites him. She then tries to make a relationship withContinue reading “Lucky McKee’s ‘May’: A Savage Look at Unrealistic Beauty Standards”

‘Maximum Overdrive’ is Really…Gosh, I Love Emilio Estevez

A rogue comet causes motor vehicles and random electronic items to become sentient and murderous. A group of survivors band together at a truck stop to hold the machines off. However, diesel trucks keep coming, with an endless thirst for gas. (For some reason, the gas pumps are layabouts, while the meat slicers are moreContinue reading “‘Maximum Overdrive’ is Really…Gosh, I Love Emilio Estevez”

‘The Masque of the Red Death’: Naughty, Campy, and Gory

One of Roger Corman’s numerous Edgar Allen Poe adaptations. Prince Prospero of the many funny hats (Vincent Price) is escaping the Red Death that’s ravaging his village by hiding in his castle. But first he kidnaps his subject Francesca (Jane Asher), as well as her husband Gino (David Weston) and father Ludovico (Nigel Green), inContinue reading “‘The Masque of the Red Death’: Naughty, Campy, and Gory”

‘House’ AKA ‘Hausu’ is Hilarious and Completely Unpredictable

*Sniff* This is a 2022 edit of my very, very first movie review. Not to be confused with the 1985 American movie of the same name; this is a Japanese movie from 1977. It revolves around seven schoolgirls (who sometimes dress similarly to Sailor Moon) off to spend their summer at a secluded house inContinue reading “‘House’ AKA ‘Hausu’ is Hilarious and Completely Unpredictable”

‘Rise: Blood Hunter’ is…well, Lucy Liu is Always Great

Sadie (Lucy Liu) is a reporter who decides it would be a swell idea to explore the sketchy neighborhood where a series of killings occurred, all by herself. (Though in her defense, no one knows they were committed by vampires.) Here’s my paraphrase of the scene when Sadie is on the phone with her colleague,Continue reading “‘Rise: Blood Hunter’ is…well, Lucy Liu is Always Great”

‘Holiday Hell’ is Entertaining, but Far from a Masterpiece

A young lady named Amelia (Meagan Karimi-Naser) is looking for the perfect Christmas present for her sister. She pops into Nevertold, a store that sells oddities and curiosities. As the shop owner (Jeffrey Combs) tells her, every item he sells has a story behind it. I wrote a coming soon article about this movie a whileContinue reading “‘Holiday Hell’ is Entertaining, but Far from a Masterpiece”

‘Unfriended: Dark Web’ is Definitely Better Than its Predecessor

Matias (Colin Woodell) has a fancy new computer, and the first thing he does is contact his girlfriend Amaya (Stephanie Nogueras) and show off the sign language app he got to help communicate better with her. She blows him off, so he engages in Skype game night with their friends, engaged couple Nari (Betty Gabriel)Continue reading “‘Unfriended: Dark Web’ is Definitely Better Than its Predecessor”

Top Ten Most Ridiculous “Sexy” Halloween Costumes

When you’re a kid, Halloween is all about the (literal) candy. When you’re an adult and can no longer trick-or-treat without facing severe social stigma for not having kids with you, it’s all about the (eye) candy. Women especially are encouraged to show off the goods, with costumes that vary from skimpy to WTF?! I’veContinue reading “Top Ten Most Ridiculous “Sexy” Halloween Costumes”