GhoulieJoe

Hideo Nakata’s ‘Ringu’: Ya See, Kids, the ’90s were a Simpler Time…

The Japanese movie that was remade in America as The Ring. Asakawa (Nanako Matsushima) is a reporter investigating mysterious deaths (including that of her niece Tomoko), all occurring one week after the victims watched a strange videotape. Asakawa locates the actual tape and watches it. With seven days to live, in desperation she shows itContinue reading “Hideo Nakata’s ‘Ringu’: Ya See, Kids, the ’90s were a Simpler Time…”

‘Return to Oz’: Wholesome Family Watching! (That’s Sarcasm)

It’s six months after Dorothy (Fairuza Balk) returned from Oz (actually forty-six years in real life). Dorothy can’t shut up about her wonderful adventures in Oz, which earns her a trip to the local sanitarium for shock treatment. After escaping, Dorothy wakes up back in Oz, this time with her chicken Billina (voiced by DeniseContinue reading “‘Return to Oz’: Wholesome Family Watching! (That’s Sarcasm)”

‘Repossessed’: You Gotta, at Least Once

It’s an early ‘90s spoof of The Exorcist. Nancy (Linda Blair) is a housewife who was once possessed as a young girl, and who becomes, as the title suggests, repossessed. Leslie Nielsen is Father Mayii, the priest who comes to her aid. Things are complicated when Ernest (Ned Beatty) and Fanny Ray Weller (Lana Schwab),Continue reading “‘Repossessed’: You Gotta, at Least Once”

‘Repo! The Genetic Opera’: Dark, Witty, Campy–with Awesome Songs!

It’s the not-too-distant future, and an epidemic of organ failures gives rise to Geneco, an organ financing conglomerate that helps people “cheat death for now.” Surgery becomes a fashion statement, and organ repossession is legal. Since everyone is now in debt, the Repo Man (Anthony Head) makes a brisk business. But he also has aContinue reading “‘Repo! The Genetic Opera’: Dark, Witty, Campy–with Awesome Songs!”

‘The Rage: Carrie 2’–Call Me Nostalgic, but it’s an Ambitious and Well-Made Sequel

Twenty-three years after the original comes a sequel, continuing in the same town. Seems Carrie’s father had a child with another woman, who, go figure, is also a religious zealot. Being raised in one uncaring foster home after another does little to improve young Rachel’s (Emily Bergl) morale, and she becomes a surly sixteen-year-old goth.Continue reading “‘The Rage: Carrie 2’–Call Me Nostalgic, but it’s an Ambitious and Well-Made Sequel”

‘Quarantine’: Somebody Call a Wah-mbulance

Remake of Jaume Balagueró’s Rec, directed by John Erick Dowdle. Reporter Angela (Jennifer Carpenter) and her cameraman Scott (Steve Harris) are doing a piece on firefighters. They ride along with firemen Fletcher (Johnathon Schaech) and Jake (Jay Hernandez) on a call to an apartment building where one of the residents has been heard screaming. TurnsContinue reading “‘Quarantine’: Somebody Call a Wah-mbulance”

‘Psycho Beach Party’ is a Wacky Comedic Romp

Florence (Lauren Ambrose) is a teenage girl who wants to be a surfer. Despite protests from the all-male surfers, big kahuna the Great Kanaka (Thomas Gibson) teaches her. Things become complicated when Florence discovers she has two split personalities; soon her friends and acquaintances start dying off. Is it Florence’s sinister side? Her suspicious motherContinue reading “‘Psycho Beach Party’ is a Wacky Comedic Romp”

‘Psycho’ 1998: Why???

Marion (Anne Heche) is longing to get married to her boyfriend Sam (Viggo Mortensen), but neither of them have the money. She sees her opportunity when her boss gives her a boatload of money to deposit in the bank, and instead she runs away with it. She winds up at the Bates motel, run byContinue reading “‘Psycho’ 1998: Why???”

‘Population 436’: ‘The Stepford Wives’ Meets ‘The Wicker Man’ (But Not as Cool)

Steve (Jeremy Sisto) from the Census Bureau has just arrived in the quaint town of Rockwell Falls. His mission is to figure out why every year the population equals exactly 436 people. The locals welcome him with open arms, particularly Deputy Bobby (Fred Durst) and his girlfriend Courtney (Charlotte Sullivan). Steve finds out too lateContinue reading “‘Population 436’: ‘The Stepford Wives’ Meets ‘The Wicker Man’ (But Not as Cool)”

‘Poltergeist II: The Other Side’: One of the Better Sequels You’re Apt to Come Across

The film picks up a while after the first one left off (despite being made four years after the original). The Freelings (JoBeth Williams, Craig T. Nelson, Heather O’Rourke, and Oliver Robins return as Diane, Steve, Carol Anne, and Robbie, respectively) are poor and living with Diane’s mother (Geraldine Fitzgerald), who promptly dies. Meanwhile, TanginaContinue reading “‘Poltergeist II: The Other Side’: One of the Better Sequels You’re Apt to Come Across”